Putting Kramer in his place
by Freckle Red
Summary: A friend of Neal and Mozzie stops by the office and encounters Agent Kramer. Hilarity ensues Feature Peter and Neal. I have no Beta so all mistakes belong to yours truly. Please Review :) Has two curse words not real bad ones though.


A/N : this isn't really in a specific time line but lets just assume it's while Agent Kramer was still in New York. I'm using my OC Lilly even though that story is on hold for now. we will just pretend for this particular story that she has made peace with Peter and Neal enough that she actually would willingly come to the FBI building. If you want to know about her to help you get to know her you're welcome to read "Danger comes in all Sizes"

Disclaimer: I don't own the White Collar crew but I may as well since they are chained in my basement and are forced to do my bidding. :)

Lilly Red, her hair in it's usual wild pony tail flew though the streets weaving around the congested traffic on her way to the Federal Building. A place  
she had sworn never to set foot in again after her last disastrous visit months back. It's not like it was she had a choice this time either, Mozzie whom she considered her Best Friend, despite his oddities which Lilly secretly found enduring, was sick with the Flu.

After conspiring with Neal they had served Mozz a doctored glass of wine and when he awoke he was at the Doctor. Laughing to herself at that memory Lilly steered in to the underground parking area of the Fed's building where the White Collar division resided. Hopping from her brand new Blue Ninja Motorcycle she took a moment to straighten her wild mane of red hair before heading to the Elevators.

Neal had called her explaining he was in a meeting and was unable to pick up the prescriptions that Mozzie needed, asking her to come by and pick them up and have them filled. After a good bit of moaning and groaning on her part she finally agreed. After all he had caught the Flu from her, while caring for her while she was ill. She briefly entertained the idea of just using the prescription pad she had appropriated with clever fingers behind Neal's back, she had even lifted a paper with the Doctor's signature, she could easily forge one. Too many questions would be raised so that plan was nixed for now.

The ding of the Elevator brought her out of her musing and she stepped inside, explaining to the Security guard who she was. Even after getting the all clear the man still eyed her with suspicion. Checking out her two sizes too large Sweatshirt with the words "When in doubt knock them put" written on the front, black combat boots and her usual artfully ripped Jeans. The Guard whose name was Ben Wilson, or as Lilly mentally dubbed 'Rent a cop' followed her out of the Elevator and escorted her to the break room where he stood entirely too close.

Not ever one to be lost for words Lilly smiles at him before saying "You get any closer Barney Fife and your gonna end up having to pay me child support." The blush that climbed up his cheeks brought forth a burst of giggles from the Freckle faced Lilly. The comment had it's desired result as the guard hastily made his retreat.

"Thank God" She muttered taking out her cell and making herself comfy while she played 'Angry Birds' to pass the time. Sometime later the door opened  
and in walked Neal and Peter Burke his handler along with several other men she did not recognize. One being an over weight heart attack waiting to  
happen. She was good at judging people and she immediately knew this stranger was a weasel. They had yet to realize the room was occupied and the Weasel was talking to agent Burke calling him Petey. Judging from Peter's face he was not at all happy with being called that.

The Weasel was still talking and Lilly focused on the conversation. "You wouldn't know where that stolen necklace is would you Caffery?" One look at Neal and Lilly felt her blood boil, he was clearly insulted as was Peter. Clearing her throat to gain their attention she shot the Fat agent her stink eye glare. Not knowing who she was he smiled at her. "Don't take offense young Lady, this man is a thief, once a thief always a thief. Of course when anything goes missing it makes sense to ask him first."

She tilted her head and returned his smile with a bright dazzling one. "Oh I understand, that makes perfect since..it's kind of like if a dozen Doughnuts  
vanished from the break room you would immediately be the prime suspect..cause once a Fat-ass always a fat-ass."

The room erupted in laughter even Agent Burke couldn't keep the grin off his face. the large man stomped over and loomed over Lilly as if to  
intimidate her. Like that would ever happen. The five foot,90 pd red head hopped right up and stood her ground. "Kramer" She heard Peter say  
as he walked over and pulled Lilly to the side away from him.

"Have you seen my uncle Reese Peter? She asked with a straight face. Peter didn't miss a beat "Neal could you please take Lilly to her uncle's office?"  
Neal nodded and with a smile escorted her out of the room where he erupted in laughter. "That was great Red, here are the prescriptions, you take  
care of that while I inform Hughes he has a Niece who just insulted Agent Kramer"

With a spring in her step she skipped to the elevators and headed off to take care of her ailing Best friend.

Later that day

Agent Kramer made his way through the parking Garage towards his car. His day had continued downhill after that smart mouth kid made him the butt of a joke and he was more than ready for this day to end. Lost in his thoughts he didn't notice anything strange until he opened his car door and boxes upon boxes of Doughnuts spilled out the door. He looked at his car in shock, there must be over a hundred boxes crammed in his new car. Utterly speechless he noticed a note on his windshield. Snatching it off he opened it and it read 'Hey Fat-boy, wouldn't want you to get arrested robbing a Bakery'


End file.
